How I Crashed a Party and Met My Wife…
My wife was my first real valentine. I know, it’s hard to believe, considering what a strapping young man I was! But my parents were very strict for their time and made it clear they preferred me studying books rather than
courting girls. I was a good boy and obeyed their wishes.
But I did get distracted from time to time.
One such distraction came on Saturday, May 16, 1981. My mates had heard through the grapevine that there was going to be a party in Southgate, five miles away. Naturally, being 17-year-olds, we decided to gatecrash it.
It was a ‘black and white’ party, requiring costumes of one or both shades. Anyone who thinks this was a creative limitation obviously didn’t grow up in the early ‘80s. It was the height of the New Romantic movement in
London, a time when music and fashion were at their most flamboyant.
It was the age of both David Bowie and The Sex Pistols.
If you liked stage makeup or combat boots, this was the decade for you.
That night, I dressed as glam icon Adam Ant, complete with white stripes painted across my face. The house was packed with other teens. It was clear the host’s parents were gone for the weekend. Most folks were sadly
not in costume and I felt a bit overdressed.
Then I saw her, a cowgirl, complete with boots and a black hat. We had a laugh at how we seemed to be the only ones taking the dress code seriously.
I asked her name. It was Suzanne.
She and I got talking, one thing led to another, and at the end of the night, she’d written her phone number on the back of my hand. I called her first thing the next morning before the ink could smudge. If you traveled back in
time and told that 17-year-old boy nervously fumbling the receiver that he was about to call his future wife, I’m not sure he’d believe you.
But as Suzanne and I went out, it quickly became clear we wanted to stay together. Her sunny attitude, which would later inspire her nickname, ‘Soli,’ was charming to be around and our senses of humour were perfectly matched.
We loved to go out to the nightclubs that were all the rage at the time and watch underground concerts. Before I knew it, this girl I’d met by chance in Southgate had become my best friend.
The real test to our relationship came when we went off to university.
Suzanne went to Northampton while I studied in Manchester. Long distance was tough in the days before social media, but we made it work. We scheduled times to call and took the train to see one another as often as we could.
On Valentine’s Day, we always wrote each other cards. We still do today, though without the need to pay for the post. After Suzanne graduated uni, I asked her to marry me. We were on a holiday in Paris, and I popped the question on a park bench one night in Montmartre.
We had been together 7 years, and that night, Soli made me the happiest man on earth.
The mate who convinced me to go gatecrashing all those years ago was my best man.
This August will mark our 30th wedding anniversary.
Though every marriage has its ups and downs, we’re extremely fortunate to have been with each other as long as we have. Both of our parents have been together for over 60 years, so we know we have a lot to live up to!
Soli, I’m so grateful we met all those years ago. I may not wear as much makeup as I did on that night, but I hope I still make you laugh as hard as ever. Thank you for always having a great sense of humour about our adventures,
for supporting me in my endeavours and for allowing me to be there to support you in yours.
I couldn’t ask for a better partner.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
